Things Dubai is great at...

In my two years living in Dubai, I’ve discovered that there are two things that the UAE does amazingly well: a. builds truly impressive things and then opens them before they’re actually ready (Burj Khalifa, The Palm etc); b. spoils things that should be fun with petty bureaucracy.

Actually, there’s a third: keeping whites white. Seriously, the Dazz Doorstep Challenge needs to get its ass over here – Emiratis must be the world’s greatest cleaners, it’s just insane how blindingly white they keep their dishdashas. I don’t know about you, but if I even wear a white t-shirt, I can guarantee spilling something down it within seconds, and then managing to dye it a strange greyish off-white while trying to get the stain out. But here, it’s a real artform.

Where are Shane Ritchie or Danny Baker when you need them?

Back to the first two points, though. Last weekend’s swim meet at the brand new Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Sports Complex (HbMbRSC, as I’m trying to make stick!) was the perfect manifestation of both of these. In a show of tardiness that even the builders of the new Wembley would be proud of, the car park was a building site, the foyer non-existent, the corridors unpainted and tiles were missing in the changing rooms…but what was finished was truly impressive. There was a 50m Olympic pool (made into a 25m short-course pool thanks to the pontoon across the middle), there was a giant, deep diving pool which also doubled as a 23m warm-up pool, triple decking football stadium style seating and one of the hugest digital scoreboards right in the middle of it all…instantly bringing up not only splits, final times and positions, but reaction time off the blocks. Apparently, the other side of the diving pool and as yet unfinished (I know, shocker, right?), another 50m pool is being constructed. I’ve swum at some venues in my time, but the BhMbRSC is really world class…adding a little more substance to the claim that Dubai/UAE will soon be going after the Olympics.

On the flipside, however, relay teams were disqualified for standing close to the pool and cheering on the swimmer in the water. In fact, teams being poolside at all seemed a minor inconvenience to all officials. ‘Sit down and shut up’ was the message – which led to a complete lack of atmosphere. Lessons need to be learned.

Have a fairly standard week of training this week, leading up to the exciting Burj Al Arab Wild Wadi swim next weekend…it’s a 1km open water race around the island which supports the Burj Al Arab…surely now one of the world’s most iconic buildings. 

It’s all in aid of Medecins Sans Frontiere but it’s a race nonetheless, with prizes including hotel stays, gym passes, waterpark passes etc. It’s split into age groups, so I’m hoping to give a decent performance being at the bottom end of the 30-40 age group and away from all those young teenage dolphin types….they make me feel so old!